"This is the new year...

And I don't feel any different."

I'm still trying to actually write my 10 resolutions for 2010 somewhere (what I call 10 in 2010) so I can see them and stick to them. I don't even know if I have 10 resolutions yet, but I will have them by Sunday. Maybe that can be resolution No. 1?

In any case, I know that one of the bigger resolutions is to start cutting the cord from the folks. Now, this has been done somewhat over the last 5 years, but I've always been plagued with this guilt for having left the nest at the tender age of 18 (about 40 years too soon for my parents). I'm starting to realize that it's my life, and if I don't put a stop to their madness and assert my independence, I will be stuck for who knows how long.

So here is the real resolution No. 1: Spend less time at home.
It's not that I don't love my parents or that I don't like spending time with them, but for the last two months since I've gotten my own place, I have constantly felt this pull between them and myself. I want to have a life of my own, friends I can hang out with on the weekends, get to know the city I'm living in. For better or worse, I'm stuck up there for at least a year and I'm not going to hate it any less if I don't spend time there to find something I like. Besides, the fact that my mother thinks I can't even buy a gallon of milk on my own is beyond ridiculous. I've been without her watchful eye for 5 years -- why is this suddenly a problem?

I'm sure part of it is that she wants to have me close now that she can (and especially since I was gone) but this is beyond ridiculous. If I don't put my foot down, what would stop the regression from getting to the point where she is brushing my hair again? The madness must end.